You're All I Have
by The Local Black and Liz
Summary: I was listenng to the new Snow Patrol Album, and thought that all of the songs matched with certain scenes or feelings from New Moon perfectly.. and so, this story was bornChasing Cars track 3 up!
1. Chapter 1

So, I was listening to the new Snow Patrol CD, and realized just how much the songs could be used to describe the feelings in New Moon. So, I will attempt to do justice by the great SP and the awesome Stephenie Meyer. These will just be short glimpses into the points of view of others throughout the book, set to Snow Patrol songs…

I own none of the songs or characters that are mentioned throughout the story… well, here goes…

_**You're All I Have**_

**Edward**

I couldn't believe that I was actually going to do this. But I had to, even if it killed me. I had to do it, for Bella. My Bella.

She looked so peaceful in her sleep. I was going to have to break up with her tomorrow. I didn't want to, but what could I do? Wait for Jasper to try to take a bite out of her again? I knew he felt bad, as he should, but I couldn't put him or Bella through that. "Don't leave me, Edward. Please." Even when she was asleep, she was observant. It broke my heart. I thought it had long died, along with my body, but she brought out so much in me that I thought I had forgotten.

I didn't want to go. A small recess of my brain shouted at me- _why are you doing this? You won't be hurting just yourself! And what will she do without you? She'll kill herself falling down the stairs! It's downright irresponsible of you to leave!_ Oh, how I wanted to listen to that part of my brain. It seemed so logical. Who was I to argue? But I knew better. No matter how much I wanted to stay, I couldn't. By leaving I would be showing everyone just how much I loved Bella, so much more than I loved myself.

I knew staying here tonight would make what I had to do so much harder, but I couldn't stay away. If I was going to have to leave her, I was going to memorize everything I could about her before I left. How peaceful she looked in her sleep, how she mumbled things in her sleep she would never say while she was conscious. I swear once I heard her say "Well, I hate you too, Lauren!" how many times I wished that she would have said that to her face. But now I won't be able to. I'll be gone.

After a while, the sun came up, and I knew it was time to leave. Before I jumped out her window, I gave her a kiss. She didn't wake, but she did mumble something. The only thing I heard was "Edward".

She was the best thing to have happened to me, I was the worst for her. She would be better off. I repeated my mantra the entire way home. I had to believe it, if I was going to be able to leave tomorrow. How I saw her tonight would be how I remembered her. That memory of her would be the only thing I'd have of her, my Bella, the only thing I have in this world.

She's all I have, and I'm letting her go…


	2. Hands open

**It may be a little hard to understand who is saying what in this chapter, as I will be POV jumping. But think about it, and it should be easy to understand. I know I just contradicted myself, but, oh well. **

_It's hard to argue when  
you won't stop making sense  
But my tongue still misbehaves and it  
keeps digging my own grave with my  
Hands open, and my eyes open  
I just keep hoping  
That your heart opens  
_

Lord, he was right. Well, partly right. It wasn't that he was no good for me. He was amazingly too good for me. I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't good for him. Was it so hard to believe that her wanted no part of my life, that he could easily forget me?

No. It was overly believable.

_  
Why would I sabotage  
the best thing that I have  
Well, it makes it easier to know  
exactly what I want with my... _

What was I leaving? She was too good for me. I was lying when I said those things. She is too amazingly perfect for me. I'm not good for her.

How could she believe those abominable untruths? I didn't WANT her? How could that ever be?

My family hated me. Alice thought I was cruel, insane, masochistic. Jasper thought it was all his fault. Emmett was upset that bella would be leaving… his favorite plaything. Esme hated to see me do this to myself. Carlisle. He was disappointed. I hated to disappoint him. This was worse than my rebellious streak. I was killing myself, hurting myself, and another. __

Hands open and my eyes open   
I just keep hoping  
that your heart opens  


Pleae… Stay…

Please.

_  
It's not as easy as willing it all to be right  
Gotta be more than hoping it's right  
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it   
Collapse into me, tired with joy  
_

That night, of course, I had to inflict more pain. I stayed, watch her sleep. Watch her cry herself to sleep. All I wanted to do was slip through her window, hold her, tell her everything would be ok, that I would never leave her.

But I couldn't. That would have been one more lie. One more tie to sever in this clean break.

So much for painless

_  
Put Sufjan Stevens on  
and we'll play your favorite song  
"Chicago" bursts to life and your  
sweet smile remembers you, my _

I listened, waiting to hear my lullaby. Thinking, maybe, just maybe, this was all some cruel joke. But all I saw, as my eyelids finally drooped with exhaustion, was his face. The ultimate picture of why I simply was not good enough for him.__

Hands open, and my eyes open  
I just keep hoping  
That your heart opens  


Please. Tell me the pain will end. Tell me you;ll be back one day.

I love you…

_  
It's not as easy as willing it all to be right  
Gotta be more than hoping it's right  
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it   
Collapse into me, tired with joy_

I love you…

**Actually, after reading this, it was really obvious. Well, goodnight, loves.**


	3. Chasing Cars

**Chasing Cars…**

**OK, everyone knows the lyrics to this song. I don't feel I need to put them up. But, if you don't know… head on over to **** to find them.**

**This is going to be 3 stories, 3 POV…. That's why it took me so long. **

_**B POV**_

Edward was preoccupied, I could tell. What about, that I didn't know. I know he felt bad about what had happened with Jasper, but I had had run-ins with vampires before. Why would this be any different? I knew the risks of interacting with his family from the beginning. I didn't fear them and I knew they meant me no harm.

I thought about this as I lay in bed, waiting. It wasn't the first time this week that he hadn't come. And yet, hope springs eternal, doesn't it? I lay there, listening to the sounds outside. The world was too normal tonight. Only the sounds of the bugs outside, and the buzzing of the porch light reached my ears.

It was too quiet, yet too loud. I knew he wouldn't be coming. There was too much life on the other side of those panes of glass. Normally, the animals stayed far away, aware in a way the humans in Forks were not of the predators in their midst.

I wished he would come. Just lay down next to me, and forget what had happened. Forget everything except for what was confined within these walls. Forget the world. Forget the strife, forget our quarrels over our humanity. Forget what Billy thought. Forget the reactions and thoughts of our (well, more my) peers. Forget that Rosalie hated me.

I needed to know that he still wanted me. That was all that mattered to me, now. His good opinion of me made me think that I was of use, of some purpose in this life. That I was needed.

I just needed him to lie next to me, help me forget the world.

Forget what we are told to believe.

Make the most of our time. Before I am too old.

I wish that we could just lie here in my room, and forget.

But I knew he wasn't going to be here, tonight. And for some reason, that troubled me more than I knew it should.

_**E POV**_

I lay there in South America, frustrated. I needed to find her. If I could just track that beast, I could explain away my absence. I needed to be doing this. I was doing double to keep her safe. And if my previous reasons fell apart, at least there was still this.

And the reasons why I left? They were becoming more and more feeble. I was having a harder and harder time explaining away my absence. If I could save her from James, if I could save her from herself, from myself, why did I have to leave? Who would protect her, now?

I lay there, listening. No. I told myself I was listening. In truth, I was in Forks. Far away, lovely, beautiful Forks. I was in the most beautiful place in the world to me, lying next to the most important person in my life. (well, death) I was there. She was there. None of this had happened with Jasper. I had never left. I lay there, and watched as she slept. Not in agony as I had the last time. In contentment. I wished that I could be there. I wished I could forget all that had happened, forget that awful look on her face, the way she had accepted my dismissal. I wished that I could just lay here, and have her be with me. Have her come and stay with me. Tell me everything will be alright. That I wasn't a monster, that I was wanted. I just wanted to forget.

As I lay there, my phone began to ring. I answered it with a heavy heart, to hear my sister's voice…

_**J POV**_

She had chosen the bloodsucker. Somehow, I had always known it would come back down to them. No matter what I did, or how much I gave of myself, her alliance lay with them. And, stupid old me, couldn't blame her. Who would want to be with me? Someone who could disfigure her, kill her at the first sign of anger. I had no control. I could give her nothing.

I lay in my room, in my cramped bed, and thought of her. Would I ever be good enough? I knew she felt something for me. Knew that she thought me a friend. Her best friend, at that. But would she ever think of me as anything else? I thought not.

And now she hasn't been here in weeks. Dad says that she has called. But I always tell to say I'm not there. If she wants to talk to me so bad, she can come and see me in person. I don't know if she's ashamed, or just plain doesn't want to see me, but I don't care. I want her to come here. Forget about the bloodsucker. Forget that we are enemies, now.

I want to just lie here and think of her. Think of her as I used to, before she was tainted with the smell of _vampire_. I want it to be like it used to. I want for her to come and tell me that everything will be alright. That these rumors I've heard are all lies. That she'll stay with me, make me smile, make me feel human.

Just come lie with me, and forget the world.

But she won't. I know this, and so I have a plan.

_**I hope it was worth the wait. I know that they're all really short, but only so much can be said about a split second in time. I know that this is Snow Patrol's most famous song, so I hope I did it justice for all you hardcore fans. **_

_**I've decided that I'm going to make this longer to include other songs by other artists. Don't worry, I'm gunna finish this album before, but taking Stephenie's advice and listening to muse has "opened my eyes" if you will, to other extremely relevant songs…. Just letting you know!**_


End file.
